FIVE (5) THINGS PEOPLE DO THAT STEALS THEIR PEACE
It is indeed ridiculous how possible it is for us to steal our own peace through the things we do (and sometimes, the things we don’t do).
Troubles and qualms have been very much present from the beginning of the world. They have lasted for a long time – for as long as the world has (even animals often have their fair share of it all).
Whether directly or insidiously, whatever happens around us tends to have undeniable effects on our hearts by influencing our moods. The sound of the alarm that wakes you up at day break, the first person who greets and perhaps compliments you, what you have for breakfast and how it tastes, the vehicle(s) by which you move to and fro, folks you meet in the process, the words you hear, the things you see, whatever comes in contact with your skin, the smells that permeate your nostrils, and many more can easily shape the condition of one’s heart.
With the need to guard one’s heart seemingly skyrocketing, one must indeed be deliberate about holding unto peace despite a plethora of reasons to be troubled. Below, we will be examining some solutions to lack of inner peace, while discussing some of the major things people do that leads to their loss of inner peace.
1. EXPECTING TOO MUCH FROM PEOPLE
One of the fastest ways to get yourself constantly troubled is to expect too much from everyone you come across or everyone around you.
Expectations, they say, breeds disappointment. When you anticipate only positive vibes from friends, family, colleagues, etc, you are bound to have your feelings and emotions crushed on a wall of unpredictable flaws.
All people are full of flaws. Your children are likely to provoke you (they can be rebellious sometimes). Your wife could put up incessant drama at some point. Your husband won’t always be the best man in the world. Your parents might just have a way of always pissing you off. Your boss just might be a haughty person. Your employee(s) might be dishonest and mischievous.
The list goes on and on and on! People are full of flaws and it could all get in the way of things almost all the time. This is one truth we must come to terms with. We must become conscious of the imperfections of others, hence giving room for offenses. When you expect too much from folks around you, it would definitely get your heart shattered. When you give room for offenses, it becomes easier to let go of the excesses of others around you.
Hope for the best, but expect any thing! This is a sure way to inner rest.
2. DWELLING ON THE OPINION OF OTHERS ABOUT YOU.
Ehm… This one is quite tricky in a way. It’s not altogether bad to consider the opinion of others about you and to think of it. However, it must not evoke the ‘worrier’ in you.
People are going to have a huge number of varying opinions about you (people you know, people you don’t know, people that know you, and people that don’t know you). Yes! It’s that terrible (exactly why worrying about it can make you to ‘comman goan kill yaself’). People would frame just any view of you they want, and guess what? They are free to!
You can’t stop anyone from framing their own view of you, using just any impression they get or choose to get of you. Some might choose to see you as ludicrous. Some might see you as a murderer (smiles). Others might conclude you are unnecessarily sassy or ill-behaved.
The good news is this; It matters little what the opinion of others is about you. What matters is who you really are. As a result, there’s need for you to work on your flaws and deficiencies BUT there’s absolutely no point getting distracted by worrying over what others are saying or thinking about you.
3. WORRYING OVER THE PAST
The past is exactly what it is – THE PAST. It can’t be revoked or annulled. At best, one can only wish it could be changed. Unfortunately (or may be fortunately), the past can never be altered. Whatever has been done has been done already.
The past can be likened to a reflection on the surface of a still mirror or stream. You seem to be seeing the object that is being reflected on the mirror or water, but it’s actually not there. It’s right there, but it’s not there. You can see it, but you aren’t actually seeing it. It’s only a reflection! It’s real, but some how, it’s not!
The past is gone and can’t be changed! This is one truth we must not casually deal with. We must with all firmness and wit embrace it. It’s a major pathway to peace. We must bear the consciousness that whatever has happened already can’t be altered by anything, not even by worrying. If we don’t move on, such worries would only trap us in depression by stealing our peace.
The ironic thing about worrying over the past is that most times, these events of the past have helped our growth and self development, perhaps without us noticing.
Every thing that has happened with/to us is inexorably a blessing received or a lesson learnt.
4. HAVING FEAR OF THE FUTURE.
It is to a large degree true to say that the future is unknown or uncertain. However, our present must only be spent shaping the future instead of worrying over it.
Worrying over the future is an unfertile land of ‘what ifs.’ “What if I lose the job?” “What if these health challenges keep on coming?” “What if I am unable to raise enough funds for my needs?” “What if the bills swallow me up?” “What if my family and friends give up on me?” “What if I end up failing?” “What if I don’t measure up?”…
The truth about all the ‘what ifs’ in the world is that they change nothing and help no one at all. Pitching your mind on thoughts of the uncertain future or of prospective doom has been a hugely unprofitable venture from the beginning of time and would remain so for sure.
In place of cowering over possible pending mishap, it is a million times more gainful to maximise your opportunities and resources by investing your time, efforts and thoughts into structuring your present. This way, you would have a future too illuminated for you to fear failure.
5. TRYING TO KNOW TOO MUCH
This one is quite similar to the second point treated in this article (but completely different). Some folks, perhaps out of insecurity or habitual suspicion are veterans in monitoring others.
While it is completely safe to study and learn as much as you can, it is utterly inimical to your peace for you to begin to pry into other people’s lives and activities in order to find out what they could be hiding from you (even ‘common sense’ should teach you to respect people’s privacy).
Some people want to know just everything that is being kept from them (and this has proved to be the undoing of many). They want to go through people’s texts (this can get you killed especially if they are your spouse (smiles)), monitor their movements, eavesdrop on their conversations, etc in attempts to find out whether or not they are saying something to others that they don’t want them to be aware of.
Such acts are grossly unhealthy. It ruins relationships (and your own peace first. You might get to know something and end up wishing you never did). For the sake of your own sanity, it’s best to keep off people’s private life (including that of your individual family members. Even your wards).
Stop striving to know more than people permit you to know about them and their activities. Choose to build your relationships on trust (for the sake of your own peace and rest), not on suspicion of everyone and thing around you.
You must be deliberate about guarding your heart by determining what gets in and what gets out. No one is going to take the blame on your behalf if you fail at any point. It’s your sole responsibility to hold unto your peace and inner rest.
Be serious with it.