4 seasons; The Colors Of Change
Change is constant, and in all human endeavors, we experience changes everywhere at all times. From life’s first cry to its final breath, we perceive the beauty and constancy of change.
In the quaint town of Chanchaga, along the Coast of Zebu River, David and Anna welcomed their beautiful baby boy with excitement as they named him Othniel. He was important for the freshness and bliss they now relish in their long wearying marriage. They finally had a child after waiting for 10years, although it seemed to the couple like a thousand because of the arguments and resentments that took root over casting blames for the origin of their woes. Now, the stress of nurturing Othniel is their new overwhelming reality, and they enjoy it so much that it is all they talk about.
“Every morning, I wake up with gratitude in my heart for this gift God gave me; I was on the verge of giving up and asking for a divorce when I found out I was carrying a child,” Anna said to Bella, while they sat in the comfort of the couch in her living room. Bella had been best friends with Anna since they were in the University, and although she was not married due to relationship hiccups, she was a big part of the family as she was there since its inception. She was Anna’s confidant especially when things were about to go south.
“The baby is a blessing, but using him as an excuse to shy away from working on your marriage is wrong; I mean before Othniel was born, you and David were a couple and that won’t change when he leaves to start his own life,” Bella said.
“I really wanted to discuss this with David but it appears that whenever we talk over anything apart from Othniel, we end up in an intense argument and seriously I’m in a big fix, I just feel this grey aura all around us, everything seems gloomy and lifeless, like winter.”
” Aah, winter, you know when you say that, I can’t help but think about me and Eric; love and relationships all pass through seasons and I think I can match the seasons in relationships to the four seasons”
“Really! I’ll like to hear that’, Anna said as she shifted in her seat.
You remember that hill adjacent to my apartment, lately, it has become my favorite spot and I often go there to reflect and clear my head in quietness. It was while I was there a few months ago, that I observed the beautiful and dramatic changes in the scenery. In springtimes, we see new growth and buddings, everything is fresh and green; it is all colors and rainbows when the rain falls and different flowers begin to bloom. The spring represents the beginning of every relationship when you are so in love, you could travel back and forth to the moon for each other. It is such a beautiful time.
But with time, the spring fades as the summer emerges with the sun shining brighter, the sky clearer with few clouds. This is when relationships start finding their balance and stability; your eyes become clearer; you start to appreciate your partner for who they really are and not for the infatuation, you had during the spring phase. As the sun brings us warmth, it comes along with its burns; so also in this phase, you begin to notice some things you might not like, maybe the way they eat or that they don’t like some of the things you like. “but it’s not that bad” you’ll say continue.
As eye-opening as the summer can be, it fades too and clears the path for the autumn. You know how autumn brings pale colors, the leaves pale and fall, little animals hibernate, and others retreat to warmer places. I like to call it the eruption phase; it’s beautifully pale because it’s a stage of action and response or reaction. There is an eruption of undesirable or negative attributes, you begin to see things you really do not like, and it might even be a difference in your life values or maybe even a deal-breaker. Most times this is when you have the biggest arguments and fights, some persons retreat emotionally while some find warmer persons to move too if you know what I mean (and they both laugh) but this is when it seems like the end but it is not, because it hatches and gives rise to the winter.
Winter hmmm… she sighed deeply, the make it or break it phase. During winter, everywhere is all white and grey, it seems as though there is no sign of life. Most creatures including humans spend their time indoors and together to conserve heat: the trees would not have warmth as such, just leafless branches, and falling barks. In this phase of every relationship, everything seems lifeless, gloomy, and grey just like you said earlier; but if they decide to work it out, accepting their partner’s flaws and all, and realizing they need and want each other, the relationship will survive the frost. Soon, the spring will dance in with its rain and freshness, giving the relationship a stronger chance to flower and blossom. As beautiful as these may be, some relationships end here, because their differences might be too big to reconcile or it might just best for them to end it and their relationship ends forever a cold winter land”
“Wow! Bella, that was really deep, but what do I do in this winter I’ve found myself”
” Honestly, Anna I think you are at the autumn phase and even if you were in winter, you’re married for heaven’s sake, you just have to find a way to pass through this. Remember you said, “for better, for worse.” You know one that remains constant is our hope in God. God is the constant factor in all of this: As for humans, we change very often, and in the process, we hurt each other. Most times, we do not deliberately hurt each other, and that’s why we all need to hold on to God tight because no matter what, He remains the same, He always has and will always remain faithful, good, loving and present.”
Anna felt encouraged to work on her marriage especially when Bella said without the cold and dry winter, we would not learn to appreciate the blessings that spring brings. Every season has a lesson embedded in it, the colors of change paint a beautiful tapestry in this thing we call life.