EQUALITY OR MINDSET
The ring is set for the big match, long in the making. We gathered to watch and shortly, the Announcer took the center stage with a microphone and introduced himself and the two contenders.
To the blue Corner he said “is the challenger, give it up for Lydia！ And to the red corner is the reigning champion, Leonard！” and we all cheer with loud applause as we sat down. This match was scheduled for twelve rounds, except for a knock out.
Unlike any other match fought before, this one isn’t about just wining but a match to determine EQUALITY should the challenger wins. The Announcer left the ring, leaving the referee to get the match started.
The referee signaled the time keeper and ring! Ring! Ring! goes the bell for round one to start. From one round to the next we watched as they fought and staggered in the ring, with heightened emotions and taping of toes. most were expecting the champion to win the match in the first few round but Lydia came ready to get equality for her gender.
The match got to the twelfth round and soon headed for the judges card to be the decider of the winner. We heard the Announcer’s voice again this time, holding in his hand is the score card from each of the judges, he read it out and declared Lydia the winner by unanimous decision.
The crowd exploded with mixed feelings, for Lydia and the rest of the her gender it was a dream come through, equality atlas was there chant.
Its a new age, a new era or better still, a new world to come. With some degree of uncertainty we left the arena anticipating how the recently won equality would shape her.
It’s been years since Lydia won the bout, and everything seems to remain the same: Like reality did not obey the contract of the match! Or the equality she won wasn’t what she actually wanted?
So I ask, was it equality that was the problem or was it the mindset thing? Who holds the balance of gender? Who holds the scale of social equity? Who holds the scale rule of gender performance? Who determine what role fit each gender? Who determine who enjoy more social and economic benefit？ or who says which gender is more political?. There is sure no fact that such a claim holds and any fight we engage on this filed is just a show of ignorance of the unique features that makes each gender perfect. I say its not gender equality that has being the problem, its is our mindset.
Taking a close look on the African society and her culture, the girl child has being put under pressure and told a lot of lies on what she can be and what she can’t be. This has gone a long way in time to create a mindset that guides her life all through existence. The pressure of time and the pressure of family have been the major drivers of this mindset the girl child owns, no girl wants to be like the 70 years old unmarried woman in the village, lol, neither do I want such for my sisters or anyone.
The pressure of time has being from time past, it’s like the girl child is a time bomb set to explode if not intercepted in time. The heat of when to marry, to be in a relationship keeps bugging her and tick tock is all she hears and in desperate move to beat her biological time, the time the society sets for her, the time she has come to set for herself, she throws all that makes her a perfect woman by default.
It’s is a known fact that the reproductive organ of the woman have a time frame, but this pressure of time has made her throw away dreams and visions and starve the world of the flavor and beauty she ought to contribute.
Sometimes she is being pressured by family on when to tie the knot, the sight of her peers getting hooked up makes her throw caution into the wind. The society has dipped her into the sea of high moral standard, and she struggles to keep her head above the waters. Now all she wants to do is to escape from this reality and become equal with the supposed champion in a bid to fair opportunity.
So I ask again is it equality or is it the mind set? Its true that the society has put you under pressure and lied to you. The society has crop your task, your scope has been made to contain the kitchen, and the rest of the house which is indeed sweet as it the pride of every girl but to this, you have a glorious destiny, a path to fulfill, in addition to being tender and loving you have a spice to add to life and existence. I tell you, you can be a mom and be a president, oh yes！ you heard me, not just a mom but a super mom, a role model mom and still live your dreams.
History in itself is filled with women that grew from girl-hood to woman hood and fulfill destiny even in marriage, the likes of serina Williams, mary kay, ngozi okonjo-iweala and much more, they didn’t have to fight anyone for equality, yet they fulfilled a purpose and history won’t forget their impact.
How sweet it is when history remembers you not only as John’s mother but also as you. I say its not about equality, its about your mindset. Am not advocating for miss independence, neither am I advocating for feminist. But I am saying, “you are a girl child, an African pride, you are special and full of virtue, you have something amazing packed in you to offer, so don’t let the mindset or the lies of the society, family or yourself shout you down”.
So tell me my dear girl child, what would you rather do different if you have all the equality you ever imagine?.
By Joseph Ezekwe