Almost every phone user can relate to those enduring moments of balancing your mobile device on your ear in a purposeless phone call conversation that lasts for a copious number of minutes (or worse still, hours).

They can be really unpleasant. Although there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a brief dialogue on phone, long ones can however be sometimes tiring, especially when the caller seems to have basically nothing to say. You know, there will always be those callers who want a lengthy time with you on the phone BUT have nothing much or reasonable to say. Such callers put nothing but drudgery on the table (and expect you to play along).

Although it remains a mystery why folks will want a long conversation on phone when they have nothing to say, the truth is that such is inevitable. For some people, they will have such occur more often than others.

The really annoying thing about such callers is their insensitivity (why on earth will you fail to notice when someone is merely enduring your talks and not enjoying it?). If you like, yawn and yawn until your mouth is wide enough to swallow all their ambiguously boring talks. They still won’t realize what’s up. It can seem life-threatening sometimes.

There are two types of such callers; the ones who have what to say, except that it’s all nothing but ‘crappy gist’ AND the ones who have nothing to say but cliche pleasantries and compliments. I honestly do not know which is worse since they are both two different types of ANNOYING.

The sect with nothing to say are really mysterious. They just leave you with no other option but to enter a breathing contest with them since they are brainstorming on what to say, and you as the ‘endurer’ of the call have no desire to say a word (trust me, the only thing you want to give out at such a time is carbon dioxide).

Those with aimless, irrelevant and off-track gists are a unique set of clowns. They just keep on talking and talking and the more they talk, the more it gets boring. These are the people that make you fake laughter (if you are kind enough to support their ministry). They are also the ones that make you make statements like “true, you are right,” when you either didn’t even hear or understand what they just said.

Unwanted long calls can really be aching (dear brother/sister, why not just make the call brief if you haven’t got much to say?). However, there are clean ways to deal with it without becoming a liar (laughs). We will discuss two below.

1. THE APPRECIATION APPROACH

The saying that “Thanksgiving is application for more” doesn’t apply here. When it comes to phone call conversations, thanksgiving doesn’t lead to more talk. It ushers it to its end. “My guy na you try pass oh… Thanks for calling. You do well…” (If you are a true Nigerian, you can relate to this moment).

The appreciation method or approach is mostly handy when you both haven’t talked for some time but the person on the other end doesn’t seem to want to bring the call to an end. However, it’s still common to appreciate without having intentions of ending the call.

The sad thing is that some of these callers are persistent and shrewd in their ways. This approach will definitely not work on some! If you try this and it doesn’t lead to the end of the call, try the approach below.

THE CARE APPROACH

Ever heard someone say “finish me with love?” This is the perfect time to finish them. With care and selflessness, you can ward off a long talker on a phone conversation. If you are asking how this is possible, you are about to know!

People buy airtime on their phones with their hard earned money. Even if they decide to use bonuses, they certainly must have done something that warranted the bonus from their network provider(s). Hence, airtime is highly salient for every phone owner.

One of the best ways to show a caller care and love is to help them save their airtime. The perfect time to do this is during an unwanted long call.

This is the perfect time for – “Wow! you have really tried lavishing so much airtime on me. Why not save it for other important calls you have to make? You have done enough for me already…”

By this time, the caller is already most likely believing that you care about him/her. While this can always be true, it is also another way of bringing to the awareness of the caller that the call should be concluded (while making them feel loved).

Guess what? You can also condition your heart to make this an exhibition of real love, not fake love (chuckles).

Sadly again, even this approach wouldn’t work in every single case of unwanted long calls. Some callers, especially if they are stalkers, will find a way to persist beyond these techniques.

Thus, we must consider other superior methods in a second part next week.

Wait for it!

Much love.

-Fredrick A

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