Sometimes I feel nature has deposited some in born desire that men cannot change. This is very common when it comes to feelings, desires and taste. For example, some men just love chubby ladies, others slim ladies and if by fate the person who loves chubby ladies end up marrying a slim lady he seems to be un satisfied.

Well, Before the base of my discussion and story is misunderstood, I will like to cut to the chase.
My name is Ben and I am into older ladies, I have fought the feeling of liking ladies that are at least five years older than I am, but nature seems to be winning always.

This feeling makes me feel odd especially in the midst of my peers because it’s just me that has it. Other’s would see a young pretty lady pass by and then shower her with words of flatter but I just stand there saying to myself “oh if she was a little bit older than me I would have liked her” weddings are great, they are usually filled with people looking very good sometimes at their peak.

But when the male crowd looks at young ladies in admiration and even lust after them, mine would be with the older ladies, I would look at how God blessed their bodies with wonderful contours and how they could be all my heart yearns for, but then a voice would whisper to me and say “she is 7 years older than you”.

I usually day dream of how I approached a lady in her mid-thirties with the legendary story of how I feel about her and how my heart craves for her love and they would tell me of how they feel the same way about me, but in the real world its different, I either get insulted or rejected, sometimes the gossips of my story gets back to me.

I would often hear some people say, hey Ben I heard something o…… what? Hmmm they said you went and approached aunty Sarah and she was like you no dey look face go find your mate. That’s when I’ll begin to regretted why I met her in the first place or why ladies can’t keep their mouth shut when been approached.

I think I am writing this because I don’t know if I need help, the prejudice in the society is choking me. So if you have similar desires towards older ladies let me know how you dealt with it, coz I don’t want to marry a young lady and feel unsatisfied or still look out to the older ladies.

– Amazing Toluwa-


  1. There are plenty reasons why men marry younger ladies, reasons I do not think I will exhaust if I go into here; but the fact remains that people are wired differently.

    Now if your fetish was something the Bible condemns strictly, I would not be commenting here but as it is, your only “problem” is not minding the love-handles(what you call curves) and age difference between you and the lady.

    Ha! Nothing wey Musa no go see for gate o.

    Do you know one way to move forward in this life? Ignore society… It’ll talk but unless the mouth moving is putting money in your account or performing miracles for you, then wohreheck are you bothered about?

    What I gotta say is, employ wisdom in approaching older ladies, don’t just walk up to any curvy voluptuous fine aunty you see. The way your dudes are wise in approaching a younger lady, be also wise. If they reject you, what else is new? (Ladies have always rejected guys in the past and discussed their suitors so…) And if they accept, and now have better sense and join, the journey of your lifetime (marriage) yaf begin like play like joke o.

    I’ll end this with the ultimate advice: talk to God. He is not as unapproachable and unreasonable as some people make Him out to be. He created you and definitely knows what you are going through. So take the time out to ask Him “Baba, how far na?” And if what He says differs from what I just said, Uncle ignore me laikdis oh. I am nothing but a pencil in His hand.

    BTW, I am a lady(if you haven’t already figured that out) and this is my two penny’s worth of advice.

    • Wow.. this is very elaborate and a heart felt expression..there are lots of truth in what you say. But the marriage institute itself needs Devine direction regardless of the age difference.

  2. If you are attracted to an older woman, you are still sane.
    if the Holy spirit approves, why not…
    you can damn the consequences and just do your thing!


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