………. Continued from my Feminine Perception [one]………
Why am I writing this? Truly I don’t know I probably feel penning down the hatred I have for men will help to reduce it but it seem to worsen, men are so unpredictably predictable you can almost tell their next move when it comes to girls, I can remember sitting in a garden when a physically blessed girl passed by I could almost bet my life that a guy will turn and look at her behind and guess what I was right more than half of the boys there turned including the guy talking with his girlfriend.
Girls are predictable but in a very different way for example a girl walks normal in her house when she is alone or when she is with her fellow girls but when she gets out of her comfort zone in the open in the presence of the opposite sex her walking steps change the way she talks and swing her fingers change she now become a different person entirely from head to toe, I may have this perception because I grew to be a naturalist I prefer using natural things on my body to look good and beautiful not for the attention of men or the opposite sex but because I want to look good.
Many girls that hear my perception toward guys usually say one single word ‘marriage’ why for God’s sake will they say that, they all say I will not get married and that I will remain single forever, they say this words to hurt me or make me change and reconsider my perception but it doesn’t at all it just make me look at them as girls following the quake routine of life which is get a degree, get married, raise children and die!!! That’s all, noting else is attached to the life of most girls except this flimsy life journey which I don’t buy.
I guess i have just been telling you all my ill feeling towards men but I think It time I let the cat out of the bag. I AM IN LOVE, yep with who is the question right? Yea, I am in love with a guy, I feel so ashamed saying this but it’s the truth, I have not dated any guy since I was 16 years but here we are I am in love with this guy that knows so much about me, he knows the fact that I hate guys and my Feminine Perception.
I took courage and told him I like him in the best romantically way I could, but he laughed! I try to tell him I was serious and it just made him laugh the more and seriously I felt broken, my heart has never been broken by the opposite sex for years, but it just got cracked now, the love of my life does not believe I can ever love a guy, and I guess this is the true reason why am writing this.
I am a very beautiful girl non compared and many guys come once a while to show interest and I just heartlessly turn them down. I now know what it feels like to get turned down by the opposite sex, I guess I did that so I won’t get my heart broken like other girls that I console after a heart break.
I don’t know if love is worth the risk but I’ll try, it seems as humans we are bound to get our hearts broken maybe that’s what makes us humans; I will breakup all the bounds I have kept surrounding myself to find love. I pray I don’t find a heart breaker that would drag me back to my Feminine Perception.